I can see that light.

Through tearless eyes I can finally see that light.

At the end of this tunnel.

They always told me that there was a light.

Tears always flooded my vision.



Though it's small, and hard to find,

I know now there's a light.

The dams have been built.

No rivers will flow any longer.

For they are built of callused emotions



Blessed are the days when tears don't flow,

After lessons are learned,

And when Summits have been conquered.

I shall not forget no mountain stands alone,

And strength comes with every valley left behind.



Strength that glows past the dark surrounding walls,

Lessons that light the flame for the light to burn,

It burns as I see the end of this tunnel.

I will soak in the peace of tearless days,

I will stand at the end quite Proudly.

I began to write this months ago. I found that I had not actually found the light that I was speaking of. I had found that the light did exist though. But not things don't feel quite the same as they did when I began to write this, thus the change in the voice that I see once entering the 3rd stanza.

Walking Thoughts

Thoughts I have while walking...

While I walk I play the, "whats their life like" game. I look into each car until I get distracted, first to check if I know them, then second to get a snap shot in my head of a possible life, or a favorite memory of that person. Completely made up of course.

Example, When I see an elderly couple I imagine how they might have met. They were high school sweethearts. He would swoon after her swept her off her feet, they would take walks on the beach under the lovely sunset. Maybe my mind will travel and see their big fight, she's in the bed room crying, and he's in the kitchen fuming, until they both realize no matter their problems in life they love each other, and they must make it through that fight, because they could not make it through life with out each other, and end in each others arms begging forgiveness.

After that picture snaps through my mind at lightning speed I see a daddy with a little girl, I see the first day he held his beautiful girl in his arms, and the future they will have when that daddy will give his baby girl away to the man she falls in love with.

Then my mind goes to more personal things. My heart tries to figure out it's love, and who it could love. I look all the guys I know, flying through a check list. I decide that's only depressing and I'll just close my eyes and let God surprise me with the perfect guy.

I get distracted by my music. I'm listening to Owl City.
"when we're apart whatever are you thinking of?"

I the lyrics that out of context. What are people thinking right now. All those people in my life are off doing something. They don't simply stop existing when I can't see them, they are a person that is all the time. They have thoughts just as I do, they have life, they have dreams. They are constantly doing something even if only simply breathing.

My mind settles to a gentle hum, listening to the world, watching a leaf fall, wishing for vibrant colors to paint the world, or for a snow flake to fall on my cheek. I'm done with heat and summer. I wish for winter, and the tingling of the cold on my nose, and my warm fuzzy mittens, winter coat, long sleaves, and tall socks. Hot Chocolate and Christmas, winter walks, and pink cheeks. I love winter. Winter has my heart.

I began this walk because I almost frustrated myself into tears. I took a Calculus test after school. Oh how much I love calculus. I love math. I love how you can figure it out, how this is a right and wrong, it's black and white, it is what it is, but it is something else, but it can't just be something simply because it feels like it. As much as I love Calc though, it angers me. Well no, it does not anger me, I anger me when I'm doing Calc. It has rules that make it work, almost like magic, but yet I can't remember the spells, the rules, the laws and codes.

The breezes blows the feelings of frustration and burning from my cheek bones and the front of my shoulders. Stress seeps from my pores under the burning sun. How lovely of a day the Lord has given me today. How wonderfully he has mapped my life to work in this world that he's created, organized and loved.
How wonderful. He's so sweet, I think I'll love him with my all and everything. :)